Turn “What if” to “Even if”…

We all have a strange penchant for holding on to what we think should be in our lives, but now, let’s give ourselves some break and try to lessen the grip, step out of our comfort zones and learn to take some risks. Simply coz YOLO. Get over with all this fvcking “what if’s” and do some over-the-limit stuff.

You might not achieve what you set out to achieve; there is a very real likelihood it won’t happen. But don’t you want to give yourself the chance while you can? Things in this world are not perpetual; they are temporary. They have expiration dates. And when they expire all you might have left is regret, which is eternal.

-Kovie Biakolo

Let go of the fear of losing, and don’t despair when you don’t reach what you’ve set, at the end of the day, it is still the experience that matters. Let’s collect those “even if’s” statement that’s gonna be a story to our grandchildren in the next generation.

(This is how Thought Catalog influenced me. lol.)

P.S. Grammarcheck, baby! HAHAHA.

A “First” From Mr. Grey

Well, not that insubordinate stuff running in your head, though. #MedyoDisappointing, right? Haha. If you’re E.L. James reader, you probably get what I mean. (Insert evil grin here. lol.)

Last Sunday, I finally decided to open this intriguing Fifthy Shades of Grey in my iBooks. Never expect it’ll be this addicting. I can’t let go and stop reading, kaya natapos ko siya kinabukasan din. #AsEagerAsAnnaSteele. It was my first time to finished a thousand-page novel. Achivement! Big deal e! Haha. It wasn’t the porn scenes that keeps me goin, pero yung enigmatic na character talaga ni Mr. Grey ang sinubaybayan ko dito. And yeah, the author just tricked the readers, natapos yung first book na mysterious pa din yung bida. Kaya eto ako ngayon, on Fifthy Shades Darker, Chapter 5. Special thanks to Tuebl.ca free epubs.

My heart just fell for Christian Grey, the wealthy drop-dead gorgeous controlling yet sweet guy in the novel. Lahat na ng posibleng pampa-poging adjective, ginamit sakanya ng author. I can imagine Alex Pettyfer playing Mr. Grey on the big screen, he definitely fits the role. Anyways, he played a stripper on Channing’s Magic Mike movie. Plus, yung role nya sa Beastly na poging mayaman din, di ba! He knows what and how to do that Mr. Grey character more than anyone else, y’know. lol.

image

This book taught me two things..

  1. How to compose hypenated words to describe something like what Ana Steele always do to bring out how Christian looks like. And yep, it’s an effective way to tell things.
  2. Not to read Fifthy Shades at school, it gives you bed weather. LOL. #MedyoNaughty.

So much for this, gonna get goin if I want to know more of Mr. Grey. And for now, the search is not for Mr. Right, but for Mr. Grey. Ciao! :*

Ang Pinakashowbiz na “IT’S NOT YOU. IT’S ME”

israelmekaniko:

Pinaka stone age na Break Up line. Linyang pwedeng bilhin sa convenient store. Linyang madalas sabihin ng mga manloloko. Kung sasabihin mo yan sa isang tao, magmumukha ka lang scripted dahil kahit sabihin mo pa yan in British Accent, kahit gago hindi tatanggapin yan. Eh kung sarili lang pala ang problema nila, bakit hindi na lang siya umalis sa sarili niya at naghanap na lang ng ibang katauhan na pwedeng pumalit sa kanya? Bakit hindi ka na lang nakipagpalit muna kay UltraMan? Bakit mandadamay pa kung sarili lang naman niya ang issue?

“You deserve someone better”, “it’s not you, it’s me”, “You’re too perfect for me.” Sus. Pare pareho lang ang lahat ng yan. Maganda lang yang pakinggan sa mga telesrye dahil may malungkot na background music habang binibitawan yan ng sikat na artista. Pero sa totoong buhay, alam mong kalokohan lang yan. Mabantot pa din sa pandinig.

Dalawa lang naman ibig sabihin niyan. Ayaw niyang diretsuhin dahil ayaw ka niyang masaktan o ayaw niyang diretsuhin dahil baka magbago pa ang isip niya either way. ( Baka nga naman hindi mag work out yung ipinalit di ba? Atleast may reserba. And the worst, ikaw yung reserba. )

Lupet din eh no? Iiwan ka na nga’t lahat binigyan ka pa ng mala investigatory project na isipin kung ano ba talaga ang lihim na bumabalot sa likod ng mga salitang “it’s not you. It’s me.” Sinaktan ka na nga, binigyan ka pa assignment. Ikaw na nga yung nag effort sa buong relasyon niyo, ikaw pa din ang kelangang mag effort para alamin kung anong totoo. Hanggang sa malaman mo na ang “it’s not you. it’s me” niya is equal to “sorry.may jowakels na akong bago.” and is also directly proportional and sapul na sapul  to “wala na akong feelings for you.”  Nakakagago di ba?

Naalala mo pa ba ang first love mo?

Yung unang experience mo ng salitang kilig?

Yung weird mong ngiti kapag naiisip mo siya?

Yung mga gabing di ka makatulog sa pag-iisip sa kanya?

Yung mga mini-heart attacks kapag nakaka-received ka ng msgs sakanya?

Yung mga oras na tulala ka lang at masayang pinagmamasdan kahit likod lang nya?

Naalala ko pa nung unang tumibok ang malanding puso na toh. Feeling ko magic talaga kung panung mapapabilis ng isang tao yung pagpumped ng dugo ng puso ko. Kabado, masarap at enjoy na enjoy ko yung bawat pagkakataon na andyan lang yung presensya nya. Dun ko napatunayan ang sabi nila na, masarap sa pakiramdam magmahal. Wushu! HAHA. Medyo mahirap panindigan ang ganito ka-korning post, sa totoo lang. 

Bata pa ako nun, siguro nadala lang ako ng kapogian at kabaitan ng taong yun. At sige na nga, kasalanan na din ito ng malanding panahon. “Gimik” at “Click” kase ang usong palabas noon at bawat character dun may ka-labtim, kaya siguro naghanap din ako ng taong magsu-supply ng kilig at magbibigay ng konting atensyon. Anyways, masaya naman kahit failed, at di man lan nabigyan ni Kupido ng pagkakataon. Walang halong panghihinayang, kase wala pa naman sa isip ko noon ang pagpasok sa isang malalim na relasyon. Nyorot! 

Pero aminado naman ako, na hanggang ngayon, tuwing nakikita ko siya e nagwawala pa din ang mga paru-paro sa tiyan kong malapit ng magka-abs. May excitement pa din sa bawat pagdaan ko sa tambayan nya, umaasa na maabutan kong nakaupo siya dun. Kusang gumuguhit ang ngiti sa kissable kong labi kapag nakikita kong nag-aabang din ng sagut na ngiti ang mas kissable nyang labi. (Ugh, mas nakaka-tempt yun kesa sa Magnum, swear!) Kung noon, nakakatuwa siyang panuodin sa court habang naglalaro ng paborito nyang basketball, ngayon, nakakataba naman ng puso kung panu siyang nakikipagkulitan sa mga bata. (Ang sarap nya sigurong maging asawa at tatay ng mga anak ko. Whut?! Haha.)

Pero ano nga ba talaga ang pinaglalaban ko sa maliguy na post na toh?

Na siguro nga iba talagang magmahal ang mga bata. Humahanga lang sa isang tao at di nagde-demand ng kahit anu pabalik. Habang nagkakaisip at tumatanda kase tayo, mas dumadami at nadadagdagan ang alam naten, kaya mas nasasaktan tayo kapag di nakukuha yung pagmamahal na dapat natatanggap din natin pabalik. 

Para sa lalaki na magiging threat sa career ni Daniel Padilla,

Para sa pangalawang lalaki na nagpatunay saken ng unconditional at forever na pagmamahal sa mundong toh,

Para sa lalaking tinuruan ako kung pano maging matibay at panindigan ang mga desisyon ko,

Para sa lalaking kakampihan at susuportahan ako sa kung anumang bagay ang gawin ko,

Para sa lalaking nagpapa-cute pa lang ako, alam na at binibigay na ang kelangan ko,

Para sa lalaking dahilan ng pagsisikap ko sa pagpasok sa school kahit pa Sabado na,

Para sa lalaking lagi kong binabantayan sa inuman nung kabataan nya pa pero takot na sa alak at yosi ngayon, 

Para sa lalaking kasama ko sa pagbuo ng mga pangarap ko,

Para sa lalaking kilala at saulo ang buong AKO,

Para sa lalaking laging bida sa buhay ko,

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, Tay! Alam ko naman na alam mo din kung gano kita sobrang grabeng kamahal. Na kahit pa bigyan ulit ako ng panibagung buhay ni Daddy Bossing e ikaw pa din ang pipiliin kong maging Tatay at ang pamilya pa din na binuo mo ang hihingin ko SaKanya. Basta, stay put lan, Tay. Onting push na lan, matutupad ko na ang pinapangarap natin diploma at ang mga bagay na pinangako ko sayo! Ako bahala sayo, sagut kita! <3

dexternews:

I have recently fallen into a confusing state of mind. One that I would rather not call depression, but it feels a lot like it. I don’t know exactly if I can call it that since I know people who have/had been depressed and wouldn’t want to call this anything more than it actually is. 

I generally dislike appearing sad in public or with friends and family so I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t know where this is all coming from. I also don’t know why I feel this way so I can’t really respond if they do ask me that question. I guess I have always thought of sadness as such an unattractive quality. As I type that sentence, I already see a problem - I always concern myself with what appears to be attractive or unattractive in front of other people. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m just built that way (maybe I should start building myself up differently). 

But I guess the most alarming thing for me is I feel helpless all the time even when I know I shouldn’t. I have this overwhelming need to always be with other people even if they’re just right there in the corner minding their own business or at least if I know I can have easy access to a physical human connection whenever I please. Like, it helps if I have plans during the day or if I’m out with friends just sitting down and smoking cigarettes. The important thing is for me to have access to people I care about on a daily basis.

This is very new to me because I have always liked being alone. What frightens me, perhaps, is the idea that maybe I am no longer comfortable in my own skin. But at the same time, I would hate to be dependent on other people and I apologize to anyone in particular if I have made [you] feel that way. I would hate to go into detail, but I have recently craved for attention from a select number of people because I simply enjoy their company. All the while (now realizing) that I have been very selfish. I am sure they have their own set of things to problematize. I am sure they have other friends, and even maybe they don’t enjoy my company as much as I enjoy theirs. And that’s okay. 

Everything is all jumbled up inside my head and I wish I could share it with someone but I can’t when I know I probably mean that much to them. I really would rather not burden anyone. I know this may sound like I have very little regard for my own well-being (or have very low self worth), but I don’t. It’s just the truth for me. It is rare for anyone to encounter people who will treat you like you actually mean something to them. I know I’m toying with things in my head which I have no control over, but I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Anyway, I hope I change soon because all of this is driving me crazy. 

Guitar/bass/vocals: Ashley Gosiengfiao

I should be over all the butterflies
But I’m into you (I’m in to you)
And baby even on our worst nights
I’m into you (I’m into you)
Let ‘em wonder how we got this far
'Cause I don’t really need to wonder at all
Yeah after all this time
I’m still into you

An Octoberian’s Confession

Normal lang namang pangarapin ng isang estudyante na maka-graduate on time, pero nun pinasok ko tong course (Petroleum Engineering) kong toh sa university (BatStateU) na toh, natanggap ko na din na malabo pa sa baha na makaka-graduate ako ng March kasabay ng mga nagkukumpetensyahang creatures sa department na pinatakan ko. Pero potek, minsan talaga kahit pa alam mo na manyayare nga ang mga ganitong bagay, nakakapanlambot pa din pag andun ka na sa puntong yun. Na sana isang sem ka na lan, tas OJT tas graduate.

Kaya ko pa naman tyagain hanggang October siguro, mali, dapat ko pala talaga tyagain, pero medyo jahe na madidisappoint ko yung mga taong naniwala sakin. Di naman ako nagkulang sa pagpapaalala sakanila na di ko kakayanin na March graduate, pero bakit kase ang taas-taas ng ineexpect nila sa tamad at di naman karunungan na kagaya ko. Alam ko na sasabihin nila na ok lang naman, pero ramdam ko din yung panghihinayang nila. Kung ako nga mismo, wasak na wasak pagkasabi saken kanina habang nag eenroll na octoberian ako, akala ko kase kaya pang hapitin hanggang summer. :((

Anyways, salamat na din sa pamilya ko na napaka-lawak ng pang-unawa na di naman ako nasermunan or whatsoever nun nagsabi ako kanina na Octoberian na ko. Official na. Though me konting kwestyon at “yamuna, blahblah” na kinonsider ko na lan as words of pampasipag. Ayos na yun, kesa naman tumahimik lan sila at paki-simpatyahan ako, dahil kung nagkaganun, baka sabog ang iyak ko non. Pero tangina talaga, ansakit sa heart!

I used to be simple and ordinary. Easily contented to what I have and never demand on things. But now, it’s time to step out on this comfort zone&#8230;and it starts with nails! Hihi. Maka-segway lan! 💅💅💅

I used to be simple and ordinary. Easily contented to what I have and never demand on things. But now, it’s time to step out on this comfort zone…and it starts with nails! Hihi. Maka-segway lan! 💅💅💅

Everybody loves to tell what you can and can’t do. But ultimately, whatever you are considering on doing, or giving up, the choice is yours. People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say “no, this is who I am.” Want people look at you differently, make them. You wanna change things? You have to go out there and change them yourself. Because there are no fairy godmothers in this world.

—Emma Swan, Snow White’s daughter, Once Upon A Time.